My Dad recently got the shits with me storing a bunch of stuff in his garage and made me take it back to my place. Among the carload of crap that I had pretty much forgotten I owned, but now can’t bare to throw it out, is a box filled with my old diaries.
I always thought it’d be great to keep a diary because when I was at some old age like 31, I’d be able to read over it and reminisce. Turns out, my adult self isn’t quite as interested in page after page of teenage angst as my teenage self thought she might be.
I used to think maybe after I died someone would find my diaries and publish them. Now I’m not sure that the story of the time, “the boys followed us to the basketball courts, but then both groups, (guys and girls) ignored each other, then Cara’s Mum took us to a Chinese restaurant’ is going to be much a seller.
As a teenager, I wasn’t allowed anywhere near the cool crowd (mostly because they wouldn’t let me), so unlike some teenage diaries, mine are seriously lacking in the sex, drugs and rock and roll department. Despite that, here are a few bits and bobs that’ll give you some insight into the tragic, dorky teenager that grew up to be the tragic, red-hot mess I am today.
1/8/1995 (aged 13)
Mum brought me a bra today. It is very uncomfortable. I am not going to wear it until I totally need it.
(Oh and by the way, young teenage Evie, don’t you worry, you won’t ‘totally need it’ until 2010 when you realise the only way you will ever get boobs is to buy them yourself.)
8/2/1996 (aged 13)
High school has began again, I am in year 8. I have Mrs. West for a science teacher and she is a mega-bitch. She seems to hate me personally, probly because I hate her and I don’t have a book and I am always late.”
1/8/1996 (aged 14)
“Last night we had a conversation about where we would like to lose our virginity. Casey said by a river on a blanket, Kirsty said on the beach and Holly said in a cabin surrounded by snow-capped mountains. I tried to get out of it by saying I was going to be a nun, but they made me say something so I said in a bed, then changed it to water bed.”
Notice how no-one suggests, ‘drunk in a party in a bush’ or ‘in the back of Mark Toddy’s Mum’s Toyata Corolla’
10/11/98 (aged 15)
And yet another reason why I think I shall remain childless
“Anyway, I smacked Josh (my brother) in the face and his nose bled. Any second now Mum’s going to come in yelling……
Mum just came in she didn’t yell just had a whinge at me but now she is throwing a spac about the washing up not being done. I hope when I have kids they are better than us.”
10/3/99 (aged 16)
I love James Jones. I actually almost spoke to him. I sneezed and he said, “bless you.”
I guess James and I just weren’t meant to be though,
I saw James walking around with his mole-patrol. These year 9 and 10 chicks follow him everywhere (can’t say I blame ‘em). Anyway, I have decided I am going to stop liking him. I used to think he might like me but the last two maths classes he has not sat near me.
It isn’t always easy dealing with the anguish of past mistakes…
“I just can’t believe I invited Tracey and Marie to my 15th birthday and not Anna, it is one of my biggest regrets.
2/10/1998 (aged 16)
My stellar taste in men started early
“So last night me, Katie and Erin hung out down the shop with the boys. Scott was swinging on shop door, putting the phone out of service, climbing up the power poles and pulling apart the seat and throwing bits of wood…by the way I totally liked Scott ‘cause he is bad and I love bad boys.”
30/5/99 (aged 17)
I had another driving lesson today. My main problems are –
Going too fast
Forgetting the blinker
16/02/01 (aged 18)
“I’m sick of my job, my brain is dyeing to get to university”
25/05/01 (aged 18)
Mathew called me today and is like, “are we still on for tomorrow?”
I say, “sure” so I guess I must have agreed to go out with him last night. My first official date and it’s with Mathew the arse-spanker.”
18/05/01 (aged 18)
To slut or not to slut
“I’m thinking of wearing my slutty dress tonight, but it might be too cold.”
This is the part where I tell you I outgrew my awkward, embarrassing teenage years into swan-like woman-hood, but I am still waiting for that to happen.
In other news, I met some bloggers in real life on the week-end.
It was awesome to meet people I feel like I already sort of know and they were both lovely.
I ended up drinking too much wine and fell asleep on the train and woke up about 30km from where I was supposed to be on a train bound for Melbourne,.
It was ok though, I was able to get back to my sister’s place, so all in all a great day.